CONAN
REVIVED
MORE BARBARIC AND EVIL
CONAN THE BARBARIAN
Cast: Jason Momoa, Rachel Nichols, Stephen Lang, Rose McGowan, Saïd Taghmaoui and Ron Perlman
Directed by: Marcus Nispel
MPAA Rating: R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity
Genre: Action/Advenure, Fantasy
Running Time: 1hr 52min
Opening Date: August 19th, 2011
Distributed by: Lionsgate
By John Delia and Marisa Ings
Hollywood has a way of reinventing things by rejuvenating characters and bringing them up to date with all the bells and whistles necessary to make it ‘fresh and new.’ This is the case of the film Conan the Barbarian where they have remade a classic adding all the CGI bells and whistles then throwing in some topless women for eye candy. If you love a medieval action adventure that kicks butt, there’s a thrill a minute in the ‘new’ Conan the Barbarian.
The story takes place during the Hyborian Age where beastly men look for ways to become Gods. After being sliced from his dieing mother’s womb, Conan gets raised by Corin (Ron Pearlman) his father a strong man and protector of the village. The villagers arch nemesis a Cimmerian warrior Kahalar Zym (Stephen Lang) pays Corin’s village a visit looking for the last piece of a magical mask that coupled with the blood of a descendent of the Sorcerers of Acheron will turn him into a God. When Corin resists, Kahalar kills him and finds the last fragment. Filled with revenge Conan (Jason Momoa), now grown, starts his search to destroy the evil one.
Marisa Says: Initially, I thought Conan the Barbarian was a man’s movie and viewing the unnecessary nudity it was! Without the bounty of bosoms filling up the screen, however, a woman not afraid of a little blood and violence could also enjoy this film. Oh, and let me not forget the eye-candy that is Jason Momoa.  I’m sure in his everyday life the actor playing this barbarian will not need to say “Woman come here†because they’d already be two steps behind.
John Says: The action is non-stop from the very beginning to its explosive ending. In between Conan runs into extreme fighting against the protectors of Kahalar, a monster caged in a watery pit, and other devilish adversaries. But the most incredible fight comes against the sand warriors that attack Conan with relentless energy while he’s protecting the gorgeous sorcerer’s descendent Tamara (Rachel Nichols) from capture.
John Says: Director Marcus Nispel uses every trick in his bag to make Conan realistic and comes up a winner. His muscle-laden hero commands the screen with Nispel provided sets and Robert E. Howard’s visceral story. All of the hideous characters are masterpieces of graphic evil personified. He offsets the macabre with his grubby slave nymphs and meager villagers making his scenes realistically barbaric.
Marisa Says: I wouldn’t go as far to say that all of the effects are elementary. Instead, they have at least graduated to junior high. At times, I felt as if I was enduring an 80’s flashbacks while viewing the tumbling Styrofoam rocks. However, the picturesque landscapes and settings were very imaginative and pleasing to the eyes.
John Says: The acting by Jason Momoa is really not bad, unlike Arnold Schwartzinegger at least you can understand what he says. His muscular body mirrors much of what Arnold brought to the screen, but Momoa gets to add a bare butt for female viewers to buzz about. Momoa’s Conan shows a lot more agility, expressiveness and realism possibly due to the updated special effects and computer graphics.Â
John Says: Nicols gives a steamy performance in one scene that if it was her body for real comes close to a prurient stag show. She and a bevy of slave girls show some extremely enchanting visual food for mature filmgoers. Her acting isn’t half bad also making Tamara a strong willed woman that doesn’t back down from a good fight.
Marisa Says: Overall, the film itself is better than I expected. On the other hand, my expectations were pretty low to begin with so that doesn’t count for much. The storyline isn’t too unique compared with other pre-civilization epics but Momoa made the tale all the more interesting with his intense animal-like and survivalist behavior.
Conan the Barbarian is rated R for strong bloody violence, some sexuality and nudity. Trust me when I say this is a HARD R and should only be viewed my very mature. The 3D that some theaters will offer does nothing to enhance the film and my recommendation is save the extra bucks.
John Says: FINAL ANALYSIS:Â An action adventure fit for mature sword and sorcery lovers. (B-)
Marisa Says: final grade (C-)
Please direct comments to:
Â
Follow us on Twitter/yeticket
And Facebook/yeticket or
yeticket@yeticket.com