“SLOW AND FAR FETCHED”
Starring: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella, James Rebhorn, and Holmes Osborne
Directed by: Richard Kelly
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for thematic elements, some violence and disturbing images.
Genre: Suspense/Horror, Thriller
Release date: November 2009
By John Delia
Well, bad news here, The Box is slow moving, poorly directed and therefore has weak performances. The trailer which seems to promise a science fiction thriller ends up to be an enticement to a storyline that looses its credibility early on in the film. I wish I could give you a saving grace point that would help The Box as I really wanted it to be a great watch, but sci-fi lovers will probably have to wait for 2012.
The movie promises a what if premise that goes something like this: What if you were given a box and it had a red button on it much like in Deal, Or No Deal. Wonder if you were told that if you press the button that two things would happen. One, someone you did not know would die and two you would receive one million dollars.
With this in mind our central character in the film Norma Lewis (Diaz) gets this opportunity when she finds a box at her doorstep. The note says that she will be visited by a Mr. Steward (Langella) the next evening with a life-altering proposition. She can only tell her husband Arthur (Marsden) the details.
Steward arrives at the designated time and the Deal, or No Deal is set with Norma. She tells her husband who works as an engineer at NASA and after checking out the box, Norma chooses to push the button and receive the million. After delivering the money to the Lewis’s however, strange things start to develop.
I’m sorry, but although the premise sounds like a great introduction to a terror filled plot it doesn’t deliver. From there we get a story so implausible that I kept on saying in my mind… nonsense, pure nonsense. From special water filled transportation portals to eternity or hell, to people with blood running from their noses without explanation, the film takes a path of total silliness.
The script for the screen and direction by Richard Kelly fails in spite of good intentions and a star studded cast. His play is very slow moving and I found myself wanting to ask the actors why there were pausing before each delivery of their dialogue. It was like watching the film in slow speech motion. You know, I say: Hi what are you up to? You wait and think about it for a minute (I can see your eyes move around and maybe you put your hand to your chin) and then reply: Nothing much, and you? Well you get the idea.
The Box is rated PG-13 for thematic elements, some violence and disturbing images according to the MPAA. They left out the gore of bloody noses, a sickly looking foot, and some ugly CGI of a missing part of Langella’s face (Oh but I’m sure you saw that in The Mummy part II.
FINAL ANALYSIS: Don’t get boxed in by the slick trailer. (1.5 of 5 Palm Trees)