“TEEN ANGST MEETS A WEREWOLF”
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Jacob Black, Ashley Greene, Peter Facinelli. Edi Gathegi, Rachelle Lefevre, Dakota Fanning, Kiowa Gordon and Alex Meraz
Directed by: Chris Weitz
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for some violence and action
Genre: Drama, Romance, Thriller, Adaptation, Sequel and Teen
Release Date: November 2009
By John Delia
Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and be a teenager again, because you really have to have their scope of reality to enjoy The Twilight Saga: New Moon. I know it is a story of star-crossed lovers much like Romeo and Juliet, but maybe I just can’t take slow. You have to really LOVE the characters and actors to enjoy this sequel.
The story continues with Bella (Stewart) refusing to celebrate her 18th
birthday with her schoolmates, instead she attends a party at the Cullens at the bequest of Edward (Pattinson). Here she gets attacked by Carlisle (Peter Facinelli) which ends a good evening. Edward breaks up with Bella because he’s afraid she cannot make it being human and a part of his family. Bella goes to see Jacob (Lautner) who professes to protect and keep her safe. When a confrontation between Bella and tribe member Paul (Meraz) breaks out turning him into a werewolf, she gets
attacked forcing Jacob to defend her. After leaving the safety of Jacob’s territory, Bella gets attacked by Laurent (Edi Gathegi) who would love to make her a part of his nasty tribe by biting her on the neck. Jacob saves Bella from Laurent, but gets attacked again, this time by Victoria (Rachelle Lefevre) who loathes her. Herself then attacks Bella by trying to take her own life so she can be with Edward, but for some reason unknown unless you read the book, gets saved by Victoria.
Teen angst rides high within Bella and she goes to the Volturi (Hmm sounds a lot like Voldemort if you ask me) to try and save Edward. When she meets the bloodthirsty group, Jane (Fanning), the most beautiful of vampires attacks Bella by trying to inflict pain with her special staring powers. Then the Volturi, lead by Aro (Michael Sheen), moves to attack Bella and make a feast of her, but Edward will have nothing of that. I could go on and on about this story, but I’m afraid I would get attacked by a group of raging teen ladies who probably think I’m making way too much fun of the movie.
Well, to me New Moon was just too slow. Yes, the operative word here is SLOW, slow moving, slow delivery and even slow motion at times. Promised action was not much more than what was in the 2-minute preview. I may have even nodded a bit. I will say however, that the CGI of the wolves was extremely good and the great cinematography of the Italian countryside was gorgeous. I would have liked to see some good vampire teeth, but I guess I will have to wait for next Halloween.
Okay, all right for you love starved teenage girls, I’ll lighten up a bit. There is a love story here even if the theme concerns some very ashen faced bloodsucking and wolf howling, yet good looking, young adults. The story
takes a twist when Edward exits the scene and we are reintroduced to the dark side of Jacob who starts an affair with Bella. Bare-chested, he works on motorcycles, hangs with his tribe and tries to take Bella to the movies. It’s a match made in hell (oh, no that was Edward and Bella), then in the forest. Bella finds her life with Jacob a fresh start until Edward starts popping up in her head. Wait, come to think of it, even his four fellow tribe members are always bare-chested. There are enough naked abs, biceps and thick necks to fill several teen magazines in this movie. Oh, now I get it.
The film is rated PG-13 for some violence and action, but not enough to attract a male audience. If pre-teens want to go, then mom you’ll just have to make believe that you are a youngster again. Heck it’s a great time for you to get out of the house while dad watches a football game.
FINAL ANALYSIS: New Moon is as blank as the real new moon for me, but for teens it is like eating ice cream complete with dribbles and drools. (2 of 5 palm trees for adults and 4 of 5 palm trees for the teen ladies)